Funny things in Shadowclan
by guoguo010
Summary: What is the life in Shadowclan? Why do they eat frogs? The truth with in Shadowclan. Yay! new chap
1. Chapter 1

All is well in Thunderclan. There were plenty of prey to eat and water to drink. In the nursery, a queen was telling her two kits a story about Shadowclan. But she got the facts all wrong.

This is the real Shadowclan...

**First day**: All cats who joined Shadowclan were looking bored they sat there without doing anything. Shadow the leader, was even bored too. Suddenly a tom's belly rumbled. " I'm hungry. Shadow, would you get meh some food!?"  
Shadow's fur bristled, "Oh you want me to get your *$#4^%* food? Well you better go get it yourself! # ?&*^$!"  
Every cat stared at their leader. The tom peed.

**Second day**: Some cats walked around not knowing how clan life should of been. Shadow was sitting like a statue. Some cats tried to poke her. In return they got wounds.

**Third day**: Finally cats got soo hungry. They didn't know how to hunt and just chased away prey from their loud screeches. A big tom named Pine grew desperate. He didn't know how to hunt so he squashed a frog with his foot. The frog was hideously ugly and it looked liked it was about to{CENSORED}. Pine ate it anyways and surprisingly it tasted like chicken.

"CHICKEN!CHICKEN!" Pine screamed and laughed.

Pine squashed more frogs and forced his clanmates to try.

"CHICKEN!CHICKEN!" All cats screamed, even the leader.

And that was how Shadowclan learned to like to eat frogs.

**Forth day**: Windclan was planed a suprise attack. They rushed through the small tunnels and rushed into Shadowclan's territory.  
"We demand some of your territory!" Windstar yowled.  
"GAAAAAHHHH!" All cats from Shadowclan were screaming their heads off.  
The Windclan cats stared at them, puzzled.  
About and hour later...  
"GAAAAAHHHH!" the Shadowclan cats were still screaming their heads off. They got wounds from thorns and branches.  
"Uh...so can we have a piece of your territory?"Windstar said.  
Shadow stopped screaming so does the cats."Thats all you wanted?Sure why not?You could of said it earlier."


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi, I'm back...please review and let's get started with more Shadowclan!**

**Fifth day : **"Um, Shadow? Who will be our next medicine cat?" A white tabby she-cat named Snow asked while Shadow was over filling herself with chicken-flavoured frog.

"How should *munch* I know? *Swallow*" Shadow muttered, " OH! the *digest* new medicine *and out it goes through the {CENSORED}*shall be...BREEZE!"

"But sir, shes sa ki-"

"DO NOT QUESTION YOUR LEADER, AND DO NOT CALL ME SIR!" screamed Shadow.

"Okay..."

**Sixth day : **This is the first day Breeze is a medicine cat. He started forcing random cats to eat different kinds of leaves and berries.

Conclusion: most cats died.


	3. Chapter 3

**Seventh day: **The cats in Shadowclan were getting bored with frogs. To them, it tasted like rabbit droppings now. Since they have nothing else to eat, they had to eat frogs.

Most cats vomited throughout the week.

**Eighth day:**"Um Shadow?" Pine asked, " the clan is tired with frogs!"

"Um, Pine? Shadow asked, "is this my business?"

Suddenly, an adder came along. Shadow squashed it with her foot.

"Here, eat this. Now stay out of my &%$ !* way! I'm TRYING, to get my beauty sleep!"

" Yeah..like your beautiful..." Pine muttered under his breath.

**Ninth day: **No cat dared to try the adder but no one ate frogs either. One tabby tom named Twig, was so famished, he took a bite. Suddenly his eyes turn to swirls and crows were flying above head. Then clan watched with big round eyes. Everybody wanted a bite.

Soon the clan was full of swirly eyes and annoying crows.

In the end: Shadow could not get her beauty sleep.

**Tenth day:**The clan was still filled with swirly eyes and annoying crows. It was VERY loud and Shadow could not take it anymore.

"SHUT YOUR PIEHOLES UP! I'M TRYING TO GET SOME SLEEP!" Shadow screamed. A wave of her scream traveled throughout the forest and woke the other clans up.

Soon the crows popped and swirly eyes disappeared. Everyone was upset except Shadow.

One strange little tom said, "Lets eat more adders!"

So the clan took another bite of the adder. This time there were star-shaped eyes and ducks flying over their heads.

''I'M SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS!" Shadow started screaming her head off.

**Thank you guys for the reviews, I really appreciate it. I hope you enjoyed the story and please please please, send me some reviews.**


	4. Chapter 4 Banana cats

Thank** you for the reviews! It was awesome. **

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**eleventh day : **The cats in Shadowclan were stuffed. Their stomach felt as if it were to go boom. They were bored...(again)... A brown tom cat rose from the sleeping cats to go talk to Shadow.

" Um Shadow.." the tom said.

" WHAT? CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I'M BUSY RIGHT NOW?" screeched Shadow.

" Oh- er I can see very well that er, your busy now..."

A gray tom shuffled out of Shadows den, looking embarrassed.

" GET OUT OF MY #$%*& DEN, YOU PIEHOLE!"

" Okay..."

**twelfth day : **"WE ARE BORED!" screamed the Shadowclan cats and marched around the camp stomping.  
Suddenly , Pine burst out, " Lets get clan names like Wind...STAR or Lake...PAW."

"That sounds stupid." a cat remarked

"You know what?"

" What?"

" YOU'RE STUPID!"

**Thirteenth day : **"IT'S TIME FOR THE GATHERING SO GET YOUR LAZY BUTTS OUT HERE!" Shadow yowled

The cats gathered around Shadow with dazed expression.

"I like pigggssss!" a kit named Flame said.

Every cat turned to look at the kit.

"You know what?" Pine said

"What?" Flame asked

"I HATE PIGGGSSS!"

**fourteenth fay : **It turned out that yesterday wasn't the gathering after all. When the cats went to the fourtrees there were nothing there. Pine was in his nest snoring like a hog until someone jabbed him awake.

" Holy crab I did not see you there. SIT!" Pine shouted

" What is up with you? You usually swear like a pineapple."

" I read this great leaf (book)and it said that if you be good and nice a generous cat named Santa Claws will give you a gift!"

"That sounds dumb!"

"You know what?"

" What?"

" YOU'RE %&*#% DUMBER THAT THAT LEAF!"


	5. Chapter 5 SPECIAL EDITION

**WELCOME! To the Special edition of Shadowclan! =) This is where Shadowclan cats turn into twolegs.(humans)**

One day Shadow was strolling around the camp trying to look for adders and frogs. On the corner of her eyes she saw something shiny. She quickly ran up to it and grabbed it.

"Do you wish to become human?" said the stone.

Shadow freaked out,"What?..."

" I SAID, DO YOU WISH TO BE HUMAN OR NOT, YOU'RE WASTING MY ****** TIME!"

"UH...okay..?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Screamed the Shadowclan cats who clearly, didn't want to be a human.

Swirly thingys,stars,balloons,diamonds,toothpaste,clouds,rats,FOOOOOD.

"YOU WILL ALL TRANSFORM INTO A HUMAN!"

BING,BANG,BOOM.

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Shadow and the cats woke up on the sidewalk, dazed.

"Why did you turn us into a frickin human?" Pine yelled

"What's a human?" Shadow said still dazed...

4 weeks later...

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"Lolz! Look at this text message Pine sent me!" Shadow said to Snow.

Text: I WAZ SITTING BESIDE SAM AT LUNCH...THEN HE VOMITED RIGHT IN FRONT OF MEH! IT WAS SOOO FUNNY!

"Hows that even funny?" Snow asked.

"I don't know but just go with it!" Shadow hissed.

" When can we even eat an adder?" Snow whispered.

" Why are you thinking about adders? Theres way more food here that it is in the forest!"

"BEEP, BOOP" cried Shadows Ipod

"OHHH! ANOTHER TEXT MESSEGE."

Text: You had enough of your human life! YOU SHALL NOW TURN BACK INTO A CAT!"

" What sa cat?" Shadow asked.

**5, 4 , 3, 2 ,1...**

They all die THE END.

Messege from the stone: If you don't like the ending...  
THEN TOO BAD! GO AWAY.

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**If you guys want to see what the cats looked as twolegs(humans) it's acutually my profile picture. This week is Shadow.  
**


	6. Chapter 7 rainbows are fun

**Fifteenth day: **One sunny afternoon, Shadowstar, (Yes, Shadowstar, she went to get her nine lives yesterday.) was listening to the radio.

Radio: "Today's hot hits, Carly Rae Jepsen, call meh maybe!..._I threw a wish in the well,__Don't ask me, I'll never tell__I looked to you as it fell, a__nd now you're in my{CENSORED}__I'd trade my soul for a wish, __pennies and dimes for a {CENSORED____}, __I wasn't looking for this, b__ut now you're in my____ {CENSORED____}"_

_______Shadowstar was singing VERY loud, it "disturbed" the clan._

Pineapple aka Pine(who just received his warrior name) walked up to Shadowstar calmly and said (calmly) " Are you MENTAL?"

" Go away you FREAKING DIARRHEA."

"I love you too."_  
_

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**Sixteenth Day: **"We need to get her to a mental hospital!" Pineapple told Snowwhite aka Snow

"Why?"

"Because she was doing this while she was online!"

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

**The leader of the whole universe: HI**

**Stranger: hi**

******The leader of the whole univer********se: I like George the monkey**

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Find strangers with common interests (Settings)Was this chat great? Racist? Inappropriate? Leave a review if read this. Save the log: Get a link • Select all • Or post log to: Facebook • Tumbler • Twitter • reddit • Piehole • Censored

* * *

**I'm going to start updating again...I know its been a long time you guys. Leave a review!**


	7. Chapter 8 hi

**Seventeenth day: **It was an unusually chilly day.

"It's so cold!" Shadowstar cried out.

"I totally agree with you, Shadowstar!" Pineapple said cheerfully, " Want meh to pee on you? My pee is warm."

"WHAT THE LEMONADE DO YOU MEAN?"

"Oh, you don't know? Well I lift up my legs then-" Pineapple was interrupted by Shadowstar.

"I know what you mean, you PIEHOLE, I mean-" Shadowstar was interrupted by Pineapple.

" I want pie, do you?"

"SHUT UP! If you say one more thing that annoys me I'm gonna eat your HEAD!"

"Hee hee hee hee." Pineapple snickered. Obviously wanting to annoy Shadowstar.

* * *

Sometime in the afternoon, when Shadowstar was sleeping, Pineapple sneaked up in front of her den and said something loud enough so that Shadowstar can hear.

" Have you ever tried cat meat?" said Pinestar in a loud voice.

Suddenly a random Thunderstar appeared out nowhere and said even more loudly, "I don't know why I ate it...the fur and the liver always gives me gas!"

Bad things happened...Shadowstar woke up and ripped Pineapples head off...Thunderstar somehow lost a life.

Conclusion:

**RIP: Pineapple, the idiot cat who died.**

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**Well, heres the story of the day... read tomarrow for a new day in ShadowClan!**


	8. Chapter 9 Valentines day

**Eighteenth day:**

It was Valentines day in the Clans, where the toms declare their love to the she-cats then, gets dumped.

"I love you!"

"I hate you!"

" Is your mom your dad?"

" Apparently, yes."

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Shadowstar padded up in the clearing for an announcement, "CATNIP PARTY!"

The clan was making out and stuffing themselves with catnip.

"I love you do you love meh?" A tom said.

"Course I do." Another tom said

"..."

A random tubleweed came out of nowhere and rolled across the cats.

The cats weren't hyper anymore and they were watching the two cats.

"You gay?" Said Weirdmouth.

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**Welcome back for the story of the day! Today I was busy so I didn't have time to work on it that much...Tomarrow's story will probaly be , please review!**


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